


It's From Japan

by This_Is_My_Legacy (The_Red_Queen_Ships_The_Ships)



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Cameos from other musicals because I'm trash, Characters will be added as they appear - Freeform, Connor Lives AU, Evan and his flustered feelings, Evan gets a squip, I'm Sorry, Insecurity, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Jared is a dick but he gets better I think, M/M, Miscomunication because everybody loves that, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Suicide Attempt, Pining, Suicidal Thoughts, Tags May Change, There's a lot crying in this, This is a DEH fic what did you expect?, This is pretty gay I'm not gonna lie, Tree Bros, Underage Drinking, W o w emo tional p a in, aaaaaaaangst, are you proud of me yet mom?, dark and lonely thoughts, did I mention the Squip looks like Connor?, i wrote this instead of my essay, it goes as well as you think it does, maybe some boyf riends, oh yeah, the Squip looks like Connor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-06
Updated: 2017-11-18
Packaged: 2018-11-09 22:48:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11114505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Red_Queen_Ships_The_Ships/pseuds/This_Is_My_Legacy
Summary: Evan gets a Squip in hopes of overcoming his anxiety and becoming friends with Connor Murphy.Nothing goes as planned.///That one crossover you knew was coming don't look at me like that





	1. It's Not Gay If It's Weed Socks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had this idea when I was doing the dishes and wondered how Evan would react to someone singing "It's from JAPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN" and this fic was born. I wasted time doing this instead of my essay which is technically late and I have to turn in tomorrow. Why not?

Evan Hansen first saw the weird short kid with the red streak in his hair at the mall a few weeks before Connor Murphy was planned to check out of the hospital. After the incident with the letters, Evan had decided to befriend the suicidal boy so there wouldn't be another repeat of the tragic event. They both needed friends, and maybe they were a lot more alike than they thought. Unfortunately, Evan didn't have time to hang out with Connor or even ask him if he wanted to be friends before he left. Hopefully this time when Connor comes back, they would bond.

It was his mom's idea. Or at least, his mom planted the idea in Evan's head almost accidentally. That morning before Evan left for school, his mother decided to check in on him before she took a quick nap. She had worked all night and exhaustion sagged her features. Somehow she still managed to put on a cheerful face for him.

"Have you been hanging around with the Murphy's lately,?" she asked.

Evan tensed. It wasn't that big of a deal, and he knew his mom was glad he was hanging with the Zoe Murphy, Connor's sister who he used to have a crush on all through middle school and most of high school, but the words sounded almost accusatory. He fidgeted with the hem of his shirt, glancing at his laptop. It was on his screensaver, but he knew once he wiggled his mouse he would find a blank document staring back at him.

"Um, y-yeah I guess," Evan responded.

His mom leaned against his bedroom door, a pleased smile forming on her face. It loosened up the bundle of nerves in Evan's gut. His mother wasn't angry at him for spending most of his day at the Murphy's. That was good.

"I'm glad. Ever since that poor boy- Connor, right?"

Evan nodded jerkily, his eyes traveling to the cast on his arm with CONNOR scribbled on it.

"Ever since that incident with Connor, it must've been hard for the Murphy's." Heidi sighed and shut her eyes. Evan could almost see the exhaustion rolling off of her. "I know that your presence there must help them greatly."

"Oh no- it's really nothing, I-I mean I'm not doing anything s-special, just, um-" Evan almost couldn't stop himself from rambling, and he forcibly clenched his mouth shut.

Heidi opened her eyes and gazed kindly at him. Evan lowered his gaze; he couldn't handle the tender look in her eyes. "I'm sure that's not true, Evan. You're a good kid, and a very good friend to that Zoe girl. He's coming back in a few weeks, right?"

Again, Evan nodded jerkily.

Almost to herself, she murmured, "Maybe I can make him some pie as a present for his return."

The word stuck in Evan's head, even as his mom continued talking. Present present present present... Of course! That was the perfect way to become friends with Connor. The only problem was what to get Connor.

Evan went through his day dazedly, his mind filling with possible gift ideas to give Connor that were immediately dropped. What would Connor even like?

Around 3rd period, Jared Kleinman dropped by Evan's locker as he was putting away his books. "Hey, Evan, did you hear what Veronica did last night at-" He stopped himself when he noticed Evan's attention didn't stray from his locker. He snapped his fingers in Evan's ear, making him jump. "Dude, you're acting like a zombie right now."

Evan flushed, quickly closing his locker door. "Oh, s-sorry I wasn't- I mean I didn't mean to, um, not pay attention."

Jared rolled his eyes at Evan's stuttering. "Whatever man. What got your panties twisted this morning?"

Evan's face burned. "I don't, um, I don't wear panties- what does Connor like?"

"That's a weird question," Jared said, peering at Evan from behind his glasses. "Why the sudden interested in our friendly neighborhood school shooter?"

"He's not a school shooter, Jared," Evan frowned, spinning on his heels and walking in the direction of his next class.

He could hear Jared scrambling to catch up with him. "I'm sorry, it was a joke."

"It wasn't very funny," Evan snapped, but he felt his shoulders relax. He didn't realize how tense he was until that moment.

"Don't know why you're defending his honor," Jared muttered under his breath, but he quickly changed the subject when he realized that Evan wasn't going to say anything. "So, um, why do you want to know what Connor likes?"

Evan slowed down as he saw his class appear. He didn't expect to get there that fast. "I wanted to, um, get Connor a present for when he comes back from the hospital. To- y'know, congratulate him on. . .getting out?" It sounded like a question and Evan inwardly flinched at how awkward he made it sound.

Jared studied Evan's face, a question gleaming in his eyes. "A _present_?" He asked slowly.

Evan nodded in jerky motions.

"Seems homoerotic," Jared decided, nodding to himself as if confirming something, "but I have no idea what Connor likes. Does anyone even know anything about Connor?"

It was a good and frustrating question. The only thing he knew about Connor Murphy was that he liked black nail polish, was always alone, and liked music, if the earbuds always hanging from his ears was any indication. Evan wished he had the chance to know Connor better before the whole incident occurred. There was more to him than being a jerk, Evan was sure of it.

"Oh!" Jared suddenly exclaimed. A few nearby students shot him an annoyed glance which he ignored. "He's super into weed. You can buy him weed socks."

Evan stared at his family friend. "Weed socks," he repeated.

Jared nodded, proud of himself for his suggestion.

"Maybe we can, um, think of something else?" Evan suggested. "A-after school can we maybe, um, l-look together for a-"

The warning bell suddenly rang, cutting Evan mid-sentence. Jared's eyes widened in panic. "Oh shit, I gotta go! Ms. Martinez is going to kick my ass if I'm late to class." He half-waved goodbye and ran down the opposite hallway, knocking into other students who yelled at him in frustration.

Evan sighed and entered his classroom. He wondered if Connor would like weed socks, or if they would offend him in some way. He quietly filed the idea under Option B. This was going to be harder than he thought.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do I know where this is going? 
> 
> No. No I don't not.
> 
> But it's not going anywhere straight I can tell you that.
> 
> I'm sorry this is short but I have to work on my essay.


	2. The Evan Hansen School Of Getting Interruted A Lot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Local smol boy gives better-than-drugs to pure anxious teen. Jared is also a prime example of a good friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a vague idea as to where this is going, thank god. I have no idea when I'm going to update next but hopefully soon. Also I love Rich.

Evan hated the mall. He hated the overpacked stores and the nauseating smell of fried food. He hated how panicked he got when he looked up and didn't see anyone familiar. He hated bothering the nice workers with his stupid questions and constant mumbling. Evan hated the mall, but he was willing to put up with it for Connor's sake.

Somehow, just before school ended, Evan managed to convince Jared to drive him to the mall. He had already sent a quick text to his mom, explaining to her that he was going to be home late. So far he hadn't received a reply. She was probably busy.

 Or maybe she was annoyed with Evan's texts.

 Maybe she didn't want him bothering her anymore.

Maybe- 

"Evan, are you still on planet Earth?" Jared asked, slurping on a soft drink. 

Evan blinked and looked around. They were in some off-brand store that sold knock-off sunglasses and plastic shoes. He didn't think they would find something Connor liked in here, but it was worth a look.

"Yeah, I am- I mean, I never left." Evan rubbed his already sweating hands on his pants, looking anywhere but Jared. "I don't think there's anything here we can buy."

"No kidding," Jared snorted, pushing his glasses back up his nose. "This is the kind of place my great-aunt Ruth shops at, and the woman hasn't been out of her house in years."

"M-maybe we should take a break-" Evan didn't get to finish his suggestion. A short figure rounded the corner and bumped into Evan, sending them both sprawling to the ground. Evan attempted to get back up, but it was hard and awkward with his cast, and the other person's feet was tangled with Evan's. Eventually, they managed to detangle and push each other up. Throughout all this, Jared wouldn't stop laughing.

"Ah man," he snickered. "You should've seen your face! You looked like you were gonna die!"

Evan pressed his hand to his chest and attempted to control his breathing. His heart seemed to want to jump out of his chest. "Are you a-alright?"

 The shorter one clutched his head, but he didn't seem to be hurt anywhere. He was at least half a foot shorter than Evan (who himself wasn't that tall), and was a lot buffer than Evan was. He glared up at him, and Evan was afraid he was going to go home with a few bruises.

"Watch where you're going, tall-ass," he snapped.

"I'm not- I mean I wasn't the one m-moving or-" Evan nervously babbled, taking a cautious step back. "But you're right I obviously should w-watch my surroundings and-"

 Jared punched Evan in the arm (the one without the cast, thank God), shushing him. "What about you?" He asked the short teenager. "Why are you running in such a shitty store?" 

The stranger huffed and straightened out his shirt. It had a picture of a disco ball on fire. "Well, I was trying to get away from a certain customer who didn't pay the proper amount, until you two tall-asses got in my way."

Jared eyed him curiously. "What are you, a drug dealer?"

He actually looked offended. " _What_? No! What kind of person do you think I am?"

Jared shrugged. "How are we supposed to know? We don't know you."

"The name is Rich."

"S-short for Richard?" Evan asked, mentally kicking himself. Rich was looking at him as if he was an idiot. Why did Evan have to open his mouth? Why did he have to talk? Why did he have to make every situation so awkward?

"No, dumbass," Rich scoffed. "It's short for Rich."

"I don't think that's how it-"

 Jared interrupted Evan before he could make a bigger fool of himself in front of the short kid. "It was nice meeting you, Rich," Jared said, tone half-sardonic and half-exasperated. "But Evan and I have to go find some weed socks for his boyfriend."

 "C-Connor isn't my-"

 Quick as lightning, Rich grabbed Evan's arm (the one without the cast, thank God), stopping him from following Jared out the store. " _Wait_!"

 Evan looked at him in slight panic. Rich's eyes were scrunched up in concentration, and he cocked his head to the side as if listening to something. Evan wasn't sure how to describe it except as weird. He tried to pull his arm away, but Rich's grip was strong. 

"U-um could you please. . ." Evan attempted to say, eyes shifting from Rich's hand to Jared's surprised expression.

Low mumbling, almost incomprehensible, came out of Rich's mouth, like he was talking to someone.

 _Okay_ , Evan thought. _He's crazy. He's crazy and insane and he's going to kidnap me and lock me in a basement and I'll never see my mom ever again and Connor will never get his weed socks and. . .and. . .and. . ._

Rich looked straight into Evan's terrified eyes. "How would you like a Squip?"

"J-Jared!" Evan yelped, looking to his family friend for help.

Jared looked at him and raised an eyebrow. Evan knew he lost him. Jared shrugged and turned away. "Well, have fun. Don't forget to tell your mom how I hung out with you at the mall."

"Jared!"

He didn't turn back. He just flashed him a peace sign and continued slurping his drink, walking out of the store.

 Evan was now alone with Rich, who was still staring intensely at him.

"Um, listen, I-I kind of have to be s-somewhere, um-" Evan was sure he was sweating buckets now. He was going to drown in his sweat, which seemed like the kind of pathetic way he would eventually die from.

"Wait, listen to me first!" Rich interrupted. There was a strange fire in his eyes. "I know what you are! You're a loser, right?"

Evan, taken aback by the question, stuttered, "W-well I r-rather not be called that-"

Rich scoffed. "It's obvious, really. In fact, you remind me a little of-" Here Rich hesitated a little and looked away. "You remind me of someone. A loser. A nobody. The kind of person people would forget about if you disappeared."

Evan blinked away the sweat falling into his eyes. An uncomfortable feeling coiled in his stomach as the words repeated in his head. _The kind of person people would forget about if you disappeared_. If Evan disappeared, would his mom's life be easier? Would she not have to worry about money, and would she finally look happy? Would Jared not have to put up with Evan's annoying presence? If Evan wasn't there, would Connor not have almost committed suicide?

His dark inner thoughts were snatched away when Rich shook his head and continued. "Right now you're hopeless, almost helpless. A real piece of work. A-" 

"I-I think I get it," Evan interrupted. There was no need for his self-esteem to sink any lower.  

"But how would you like a chance to change all that?"

Evan paused and stared at him. "W-what do you mean?"

Rich rolled his eyes. "I'm saying, I want to help you stop being such a loser, dumbass."

Evan was speechless. He's had people offer to help him before, of course. School counselors, therapists, various teachers, his mom. All he got out of the "help" was various pills to take and dumb self-motivational letters to himself. Yet somehow, Evan felt as if Rich's offer was different.

 Evan swallowed. "C-could you please let go of my arm?"

"Oh, fuck, of course!" Rich let go of Evan's arm and for a second, an uncertain looked passed through his face. It disappeared and a haughty expression replaced it. "Have you ever heard of a Squip?"

He shook his head and fiddled with the hem of his shirt.

"It's a top-of-the-line can't-even-find-this-on-the-internet shit," Rich informed him. "It's a gray oblong pill. Quantum nanotechnology CPU."

Evan took a hesitant step back. "Oh, I'm not into drugs-"

Rich laughed, but it was more of a short, loud bark, than something human. "Oh it's better than drugs. It's from _Japan._ "

As if that explained everything.

"I don't understand-"

"Just hear me out," Rich interrupted him. "Imagine this: friends who actually care about you and want to hang out with you, a nice girlfriend, good grades, respect from everyone." The excitement was almost palpable. Evan himself was feeling a little excited just imagining a world where he wasn't such a messed up loner.

Evan forced those thoughts out of his head. "I-I have friends," he disagreed, frowning at the titled floor. "I have Jared, a-although he's a family friend. . .a-and I have Alana! E-even though she t-talks to everyone BUT th-there's Zoe who-" Only started talking to him after Connor's suicide attempt. The indignation in his voice ebbed away as he realized just how hopeless he was.

He didn't have a single friend. Not one. Who would want to be friends with a person like him?

Rich, realizing he had him, doubled up his persuasive efforts. "If you get a Squip, your whole life will flip! Forget being that nobody know one knows. You'll be the kind of person everyone will remember! Imagine that. Just one pre-programmed supercomputer inside of a pill, and you'll be the coolest guy on the block."

 "W-what does it do?" Evan whispered, defeat slumping his shoulders.

"IT'S FROM JAPAN!" Rich exploded, causing Evan to jump in surprise (and fear). He was grinning from ear to ear, like an small, excited puppy. "A gray oblong pill, quantum nanotechnology CPU! The supercomputer in the pill travels through your blood until it implants itself in your brain and tells you what to do. It speaks to you directly."

"Sounds dangerous," Evan admitted.

"But it's worth it."

Evan mulled over it in his brain. "How much does it cost?"

"Six hundred." 

" _Dollars_?! I don't- I can't-" This was it. Evan would never be cool now.

Rich paused for a second, and a strange look passed in his eyes. He frowned. "Shut _up_!"

"S-sorry-"

He waved away Evan's apology. "No, not you." At Evan's confused look, Rich sighed and fumbled through his pockets. "Look just- God, I'm gonna regret this. Here." Rich shoved something into Evan's hands.

Evan studied it. It was, in fact, a gray oblong pill. "Quantum nanotechnology CPU," he mumbled under his breath, not even aware that he was doing it. 

"Take it with Mountain Dew, and don't ask me why. I have no fucking clue."

 Evan looked up. "B-but I don't have that kind of money-"

Rich shook his head. "Just take it. It's on the house for you." 

"Why? Why me?"

"Do you want it or not?" Rich snapped. Evan flinched and nodded rapidly.

Rich groaned and looked away. "Sorry, that wasn't... Sorry. You remind me of someone. . ."

He didn't say anything else. Rich just turned around and walked away.

"Th-thank you," Evan said to his retreating figure. He stared at the pill and an almost giddy laugh bubbled out of his throat. This was a chance to finally be happy. Who was he to deny himself that right?

Evan walked straight out the store and headed to the food court. He shot Jared a quick text, a very brief explanation of what was going on. Evan wasn't sure if Jared would care enough to meet with him (he wasn't even sure if Jared was still at the mall), but maybe he was feeling generous today. 

He ordered a Mountain Dew and quickly sprinted to the nearest bathroom. Somehow it didn't seem right to do this in a heavily populated place. Thankfully the bathroom was empty.

Evan hesitated. Was this really a good idea? This was some weird, sketchy, foreign drug that was supposedly meant to make him cooler. This was something out of a tv screen. Or maybe even a a sci-fi book.

"It's from Japan," Evan murmured. "It's a gray oblong pill. Quantum nanotechnology CPU. The supercomputer in the pill will travel through my blood until it implants in my brain and tells me what to do. It will help me to be...cool."

Before he could regret it, Evan swallowed the pill down with the Mountain Dew.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Legend states that Rich Goranski gave Evan a Squip because Evan reminded him of himself freshmen year.


	3. He Should Have Gone With The Sexy Anime Female

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A sketchy drug from Japan that looks like that one kid who almost committed suicide on the first day of senior year? It's more likely than you think.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I am so so so so so sorry that it took me so long to update! Life happened and you know how difficult that is. But I'm here now so please don't hate me! (I also got distracted by RENT, which is shaping up to be my favorite musical ever).

It tasted minty.

That was Evan's first thought before Jared burst through the bathroom door. "Dude, what the fuck?" He exclaimed.   
  
Evan blinked up at him from the bathroom floor. It was disgusting, yes, but he wanted to be sitting when the drug dissolved in his veins. The floor was cold and kind of sticky, but solid.   
  
"I didn't expect you to come," Evan said, staring at his palms.   
  
"What did you expect me to do when you texted me this?" Jared shoved his phone into Evan's face.  _Havr you hesrd of the drug squip? itll make me cool meet me @ the food cpurt bathrrom_ , the text message said. Evan didn't realize there were so many spelling errors. He felt embarrassed that Jared had to decipher his careless mistakes.  
  
"I, um..."  
  
"I never expected you to be a druggie. Did Connor manage to rub off you on?" Jared demanded. "What kind of drug is it? Mary Jane? Cocaine? Heroin? _Meth_?"  
  
Evan's eyes widened. "Woah, woah, woah! I n-never- I don't even know what some of those  _are_!"  
  
Jared squinted at him, unconvinced.  
  
"I-It's not really a drug, although it kinda is, I guess..." He fumbled with his hands, wishing the drug would work already so he knew what to say. "T-that guy from earlier, Rich? He gave me this thing called a Squip to h-help me."  
  
"A Squip?" Jared frowned. "What the hell is that?"  
  
Evan couldn't meet his family friend's eyes. "It's from Japan."  
  
"Oh,  _man_ ," Jared moaned, dramatically flinging his hands up. " _Japan_? Shit dude, do you know how sketchy Japanese shit is?"   
  
"It's top-of-the-line," Evan argued, although speaking with Jared made him realize how sketchy the entire thing really was. His resolution crumbled before him, and Evan struggled to pick it back up. "You can't even buy it on the internet...."  
  
Jared shook his head sadly. "You got conned, man. Face it. Why else would some weird midget like him sell someone like _you_ drugs? Did he make you spend your money?"  
  
When Evan didn't say anything, Jared wailed, "Evan, the _weed socks_!"  
  
"I d-didn't spend it!" Evan cried. "Rich gave it to me for free. He was really persuasive! He said it would help me m-make friends and be cool-"  
  
"You're gullible," Jared stated. "And a smuck."  
  
"Stop berating me!" Tears welled in his eyes, but Evan rubbed them away. He didn't want Jared to see him cry. "I didn't text you here so you can tell me how dumb I am. I wanted to tell you about the Squip!"

Evan felt terrible. Awful. He had his hopes so far up that when it fell, it fell hard. Why did he think some stranger would be able to solve his problems for him? A drug wasn't going to heal his anxiety, or make him a smoother talker. It wasn't going to fix the strained relationship between him and his mom. It wasn't going to give him money for college. It wasn't going to make his cast disappear. It wasn't going to make Connor Murphy see him as anything other than that weird kid that liked trees and had a gross crush on his sister. It wasn't going to make  _anybody_  like him. Why did Evan even bother trying at all? 

A hopeless feeling settled in his chest.  
  
Jared rolled his eyes, oblivious to the dark thoughts swirling in the other boy's head. "Whatever. Tell me more about this so-called Squip, then."   
  
"It's from Japan," Evan murmured.  
  
"Yeah, I think we already established that-"  
  
"A gray oblong pill," he continued monotonously. "Quantum nanotechnology CPU. The supercomputer in the pill will travel through my blood until it implants in my brain and tells me what to do."

"Okay, that's a bit creepy, Evan," Jared said, concern flickering in his face. "Why don't we just leave-"

A spine shattering pain erupted in my Evan's skull. He cried out, doubling over as pain racked through his body. "Evan!" He heard Jared cry out in alarm.

_Anxiety levels rising,_  a voice, seemingly out of nowhere, said.

Evan could barely think. His head throbbed, and every move he made caused more pain to ripple through his head. He curled on the floor, tears welling up, praying that it would end soon.  _Oh my God, I'm going to die_ , Evan struggled to think.  _I'm going to die I'm going to die I'm-_

_Calibration in process. Please excuse some mild discomfort._

But wasn't this what he wanted? Wasn't this his goal last summer, when he climbed up a tree, wishing he wouldn't get back up? Wasn't this what he wanted when he deliberately forgot to take his medication? Didn't he feel slightly jealous when he found out Connor attempted to commit suicide? Didn't he want that to be _him_?

_Calibration complete. Access procedure initiated._

No. No matter how fucked up he was, he didn't want to die like _this_.

_Discomfort levels may increase._

"Evan, are you okay?" He heard Jared ask. "Should I call the mall cops?"

Hot white pain streaked through Evan's brain and he let out a guttural shriek. He couldn't see. He couldn't breathe. Everything hurt and tears were flowing and he was scared, so very scared. This must be what death felt like. 

"Evan stay here! I'm going to get security or something!"

_Accessing: neural memory. Accessing: muscle memory. Access procedure: complete._

The pain slowly ebbed away, but Evan still felt lightheaded. He rubbed his eyes and pushed himself into a sitting position. 

_Evan Hansen, welcome to your Super Quantum Unit Intel Processor._

He looked up, shocked to see a young, twenty-something man, wearing an impeccable suit and a smirk. He looked a bit like Keanu Reeves.

_Your Squip._

Evan yelped and scuttled back. "W-who are you? What do you want?"

"Did you not listen to me, Evan? I am your Squip." The Squip flashed him a blindingly white smile. "It is my job to make you more chill."

Evan avoided making eye contact with him. His palms felt clammy. "S-s-so Rich was right," he stuttered. "Y-You're not some sketchy drug from Japan?"

A pause. "Oh, I am a sketchy drug from Japan, as you deemed to put it, but I am so much more than that, Evan. I can help you in ways others can't."

"Y-you can?"

The Squip sighed. "I can if you cooperate with me. How will you ever get better if you don't even try? You haven't looked me in the eye since I appeared."

"I'm sorry, I'm just not used to this and you're kind of intimidating and I don't know-"

"Your anxiety levels are spiking," the Squip noted. "Breathe Evan. Would it make it easier if I change my settings to something less intimidating?"

"You can do that?" Evan asked, peeking a glance at him before looking back down. 

"Of course. My settings are Sean Connery. Jack Nicholson. Sexy anime female."

"I don't know-"

"Or, if you prefer, a Trustworthy Source."

Evan frowned. "What does that last one mean?"

"I have access to your memories. I can adopt the physical makeup of someone you find trustworthy and use that to coax you into something much more desirable."

"C-Can we-" he hesitated. "Can we try that one?"

_Accessing memory. Searching for data._

Evan's head began pounding again. He squeezed his eyes shut and bit back a moan. Was this how he was always going to feel when the Squip accessed his brain? Maybe Jared was right. Maybe this was a bad idea.

_Search complete. Settings changed._

"Hello again, Evan," a familiar voice said. 

Evan's eyes flew open and he looked up. Standing above him, wearing a gray vest over a black t-shirt in a way that was weirdly stylish, was Connor Murphy. Except, no, that wasn't him. For one, his long hair was pulled back in a ponytail instead of hanging in his face like usual. Evan could actually see his eyes, which had an inhuman blue glow to it. He also wasn't slouched over, but standing straight and tall. This was the farthest Connor anyone could ever hope to get. Still, seeing the familiar face made something in Evan hurt. 

"What's wrong, Evan?" Squip-Connor asked. Even his voice rose and fell the same way Connor's did. And suddenly Evan was back in the computer lab on the first day of school, watching Connor Murphy read his letter out loud with a betrayed look. Suddenly, he was back at the principal's office three days later, hearing for the first time that Connor Murphy attempted suicide, and he had Evan's dumb letter crumpled up in his pocket. Guilt crashed over him.

Evan started to cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It looked like I wrote more when I was typing on my phone. Oh well.


End file.
